Daily i somehow hope that my life is about to find a clue of my search ...
what am i searching ?
i want to know simply what is this life all about . Days are passing because it is movement of the sun and rotation of the earth . but life is more then this , i hope so . i am alive so i am living .. i ll be dead and thus not living . very simple ...
After i die my dearest ones will be living same way as if i never existed maximum by 12th day or what we call "barwan".
Then , why i am just running after something which will soon be forgotten .My earnings will be a cause of dispute if they are too much and see how i am just wasting my time in collecting this worthless thing and during this whole blind marathon race i am ready to loose my health , my peace , my spritual growth ,love, we just dont give quality time to our children and we say so many suicides these days . worst of all i am pushing my child in the same blind run .
Along with this materialism i ve earned the ability to feel jealous , to be rude , to be envious , to be heartless and learning to be shallow in relations ...
Is this my life all about ....
No ...today i ve no answer to my query but i want to find the deeper meaning of life .

We are losing things which are of value each day ... like our relations .
Love is losing its shine each day ,
each day we are getting shallower ,
selfishness runs in our blood .

lot to learn

Teaching kids is seemingly easy ...
I was teaching my 8 yr old son and after 2 hours i find that according to him he has done lot of work and as per me i see only couple of pages and by the end he is more exausted of me then his work and i am so tired mentally ..
he went out to play and i took time to come out of that little frustation which gathered while i was trying to fit things into him .
each time i promise myself to be cool and while i tell him few things i let my hand loose on him ... then i say sorry , to which he replies " you always do same " .
it is he who is teaching me and i ve lot to learn ....

AWARENESS HELPS ....

Living in awareness is the most interesting thing to do .. i tried with one reletion and then truly followed my feelings , emotions , thoughts , reactions .... and that i did honestly without prejudice or bias and it worked magic !
i could see how things altered , it was not a forceful change .i questioned myself on each behaviour . why am i scolding my child ? why am i forcing him to do certain things ? why do i want him to follow my way only ?is it the feel of power! and this way i could untangle myself... i am excited and want to continue because it is making me better ...one thing i am learning is that i never knew that I AM SO COMPLICATED BEING .

join hands in awareness

Are we living ? yes dear we are alive a voice said...
but being alive is living ? is it ?
i tried one day to follow my breathing pattern and to be conscious of all my thoughts and actions . but this simple thing was so difficult .i do most of the things in routine . . .
Year 2010 is welcome and I pray to lord to help me and guide me to live a life that is in Awareness , a life that is wholesome .
i welcome all suggestions for mental health , spiritual health , physical health and for living in awareness .